Designer1 Musings

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"

2007-01-02T15:15:00.000-08:00

So, I'm looking at giving up alcohol.

Don't laugh please.

I can't 'cut down'. It's not in my character. If I want to cut something out, I do it completely.

I've done it with drugs and I've done it with cigarettes.

January will be the real test, I appreciate that. It's a fucking depressing month for soooo many reasons and I like to numb (dumb?) things with a touch of claret and a splash of beer.

But I am quite determined.

So, wish me luck.

2007 and all that...

2007-01-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

The new year is here.

So to my family, friends and all those inbetween(?), enjoy yourselves, keep safe and keep on remembering 'it's only a movie, it's only a movie...'

And the top three...

2006-12-10T14:53:00.000-08:00

OK, I know it's a little bit early but I think I can safely say I've seen my favourite three movies of 2006 already.

Not a bad year at all as far as movies go. And as I watch three or four a week that leaves me with quite a few to choose from.

Please forgive the brevity of these reviews. I would rather give you a quick pointer and then leave you to make up your own minds rather than you having to read through all my opinions.

Honourable mentions this year go to:

Along with Children of Men...

And of course:

But the top three in reverse order:

Incredible movie. Fabulous characters and incredible acting.

How fantasy should be. A superb regression to the real horror of the fairy tale.

Not a lot to be said really. Fantastic in every way, noir in the extreme with a fascinating story and complex characters. In brief (as all these reviews are) a cult classic.

Bring on 2007...

Michael Moore would be proud

2006-10-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

Came across this on YouTube. Some good use of imagery and GREAT use of Ministry.

So once again, just for you GW...

A life in Tyria

2006-10-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

Guild Wars. Its odd really. I bought GW over a year ago, played it for a couple of weeks and then got sucked into a life of WoW (World of Warcraft). The WoW life lasted until I reached lvl 60 (when a game ceases to be fun its time to move on) But as I’ve been playing various other games including caning Oblivion on the PC (a wonderful game) I hadn’t really thought about giving GW another go until a few weeks ago.

And now I’m glad I did. Its fabulous.

Unlike many of the MMORPG games GW caters to the casual gamer. Its also not really a MMORPG in its true sense but rather a highly playable RPG with MMORPG elements. Mainly due to the fact that the online community is restricted to the town areas, so when you leave the town (either with other human players or CPU controlled ‘henchmen’) the outside areas are ‘instanced’.

Graphically GW is stunning, each character and enemy is extremely well designed and the animation is first rate.

However, what separates GW from its competitors is the PvP aspect. Frenetic and fun, and with a great balance between the different classes the bouts of PvP come thick and fast, and a great sense of satisfaction is gained from being on the winning side.

There is also a superb feature which allows you to watch bouts of PvP shortly after they have finished. Very inventive.

As with all video games, there are minor niggles. The biggest of which is the ‘invisible barrier’ syndrome. When my character is dropped into an environment, I like the freedom to be able to move everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. What I don’t expect is to come against an invisible fence/brick wall that stops my progress. Occasionally frustrating but not that off-putting.

So apart from a few minor niggles GW is a quality game. I could write a lot more but as this is just a brief synopsis I won’t (and I can’t be bothered) J.

So, If you like a bit of RPG/PvP you could do a lot worse.

Get the game, get online and kill.

The eye of the beholder?

2006-10-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

Design. When something can divide opinion in such a drastic way then generally speaking I think it's a worthwhile subject.

I've been a professional designer (some of my past employers would tell you otherwise) for over 15 years and i can honestly say that along with politics, religion and which is the best Chevy Chase movie nothing can divide opinion like a design proof.

The most recent case in question happened today. A straight forward (or so i thought) design I'd created for a magazine cover. The typography I'd implemented was relatively straightforward, but I'd tweaked a few of the subheading to create a decent overlap effect. It fitted, I thought with the look and feel of the publication.

The Creative Director I had been working under agreed and thought it looked excellent.

The Managing Director who had the absolute last say on everything didn't.

Cut a long story short, the typography was changed. Even though the two people who worked on the principles of the design was myself (a designer with as I've said over 15 years experience) and a Creative Director (with 25 years experience). But the 'main' man who thinks that great design means using as many typefaces as possible and as many gimmicks (design cliches) as possible deemed his opinion to be the correct one.

Later I spoke to the Creative Director who quite frankly was within a gnats cock of handing in his notice and he said "It's like calling a plumber to come and fit you a new bathroom, then standing over him and telling him what thickness of pipes to use". Hmmm.

So, I suppose like Jenna Jameson when Liverpool are at home, most of the time its great to do something you love. Occasionally its a bastard.

Sometimes, you get a movie...

2006-09-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

...that totally knocks you sideways. The King (directed by James Marsh) is such a movie. Its the story of Elvis Valderez who is honourably discharged from the Navy. He decides to find his father who has become a born again Christian with a new family and life as a pastor.

Its Completely refreshing, not a cliche in sight and wonderful performances from Gael Garcia Bernal (Motorcycle Diaries, Amores Perros) as Elvis and William Hurt (too many to name) as his father. A tight script, nicely balanced pace and a story punctuated by a few genuinely shocking moments (one of which actually had me shouting 'fucking hell' at the screen) all add up to one of the best movies I've seen this year. Great stuff and highly recommended.

And true to form...

2006-07-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

HDE has already fucked up the first bid from my favourite choice Mr.Lerner.

Never mind Randy, It could have been good.

Villa Takeover?

2006-07-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, possible takeover at my club with three bids in the pipeline. As long as HDE goes then thats fine but I'm hoping for Randy Lerner as I believe he will allow us to buy some much needed quality. Anyhoo, I did a few tees just in case he gets in...

I love this woman...

2006-07-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

After seeing Regina Spektor live last week I have to say that the word talent has now taken on a new meaning. She is in every respect perfect.

Love this joke.

2006-07-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

Just for you GW

2006-05-30T16:23:00.000-07:00

15 minute doodle from a nightmare...

2006-02-02T14:59:00.000-08:00

WoW...

2005-12-10T03:33:00.000-08:00

Subliminal message for DOL...

2005-12-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

The Indecisive Scouser

2005-07-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

If this transfer money doesn't really exist...

2005-05-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

Maybe an expert should be called in to solve this problem once and for all...

That is of course, in reference to my football team and the promise of large amounts of cash to spend in the summer for our manager DOL. This had better not be smoke and mirrors Mr.Ellis. Even Dorothy saw through that shit.

Many Happy Returns?

2005-04-29T14:56:00.000-07:00

Hope so. Today is my birthday and what a splendid time i've had.

Had a GC and this...

Plus some other cool stuff so I'm sorted for a while. Anyway, for some reason 34 doesn't sound as bad as 33. Or is that just me?

By the way, is it just me or is this really disturbing...

And now...The Gallery...

2005-04-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

I've been posting for a while now over at www.villatalk.com as (surprisingly) Designer1. The following is a collection of some of the picture posts I've submitted. Being a Villa fan is hard work at the best of times, so hopefully some of the crap I post makes us smile now and again...

Great player to be honest, but those quick feet and the amount of stepovers call for this...

Love the old Atari 2600? Hate Doug Ellis? Yes to both and...

As Half Man Half Biscuit once sang 'Marilyn Monroe was just a slag...' and here's the proof...

Thankyouverymuch. The King of the Club Style meets the King of the Club...

Over at VT, we LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE David Sullivan...

Yeah right. Nearly as much as we love SHA. Here's some of their wallpaper, not just PC wallpaper, as I expect this sort of S*** to be on the wall of every dwelling of the Knuckledragger.

I love Top Trumps, but let's face it, if HDE had one it would be this...

I'm not picking on Doug, but again Carol Vorderman has the answer to our dreams...

The board room turns into the bored room...

We didn't sign him. He now looks shit. The Evernot players offered him something ours refused to...

The enemy are trying to sign Parker, let's hope this is as close as the fuckers get...

Even my mate T hates the Bloose...

My favourite needs no introduction...

Doug took a holiday in the transfer window, so I took the piss...

I do still wonder?...

Spadeface made a comment about cutting off his nose to spite his face, I took it literally...

Enough said?...

Probably did Quasimodo a diservice here...

Anyway, that's all for now.

Nothing like a good old Football pagga...

2005-04-02T12:57:00.000-08:00

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v628/Designer1/dyermovie.swf

We live in it. We don't have to live it.

2005-03-22T14:17:00.000-08:00

Movies, Music, the Media. Luckily, alot of us see through trees and actually get to the forest.

Mainstream is not a bad thing. The only problem I can see, is that it's mainstream.

Most posts need text...

2005-03-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

But for this one, I'm just going to 'say'...

That sort of sums it up nicely.

Top Trumps and watching Halloween and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre at age Seven

2005-03-09T14:48:00.000-08:00

If your about the same age as me you will remember these...

http://davidguy.brinkster.net/toptrumps/default.html

How fantastic were the Horror Top Trumps!??. I remember a family holiday to Blackpool in my younger years (somewhere around the 78-81 era) that would have been even more depressing had it not been for the said cards. I always loved horror.

Basically, I was a serious horror fan for my age. It's easy to see why to be honest, me and the old man used to stay up late on Friday nights and watch Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Michael Ripper (there's a Hammer in-joke if I ever heard one) appearing in the Hammer horror movies. I seem to remember they would come on at about 10.30 and finish at just after midnight. Class stuff, but on reflection relatively tame (maybe not for a seven year old though).

So anyway, one week a 'non-hammer' movie was shown. It was previewed for a few days before on ITV, it was called 'Halloween'. After about the first half an hour I remember my dad saying to me "this ay the usual sort of thing is it mate?". Great understatement that one. Halloween changed the way I looked at a) Horror movies b) Coat hangers. Still a classic to this day, If there is anyone who hasn't seen it then I urge you to beg/borrow/steal a copy asap.

That same year I saw my first ever movie on video. A Betamax toploader which was stationed at my Uncles house. So, after watching one horror classic with my Dad, I then watched 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' with my Mom, Dad and my Uncle. I can't say I complained. Let's face it, I fucking loved it!. Telling the other kids at school on the following Monday was a hoot.

So, two classic horrors, both at the age of seven. Not bad really, and I don't blame my parents either. They respected my (somewhat unhealthly) morbid fascination and I've not suffered as a result (cue jokes about bodies buried in garden etc).

Wish I could find a nice set of those top trumps though.

Kids and John Malkovich...

2005-02-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not I made these two (not by myself but I did have something to do with it)...

This is Leah Rose aged five...

And this is Alannah Grace aged seven months...

They cost me and the wife lots of money and lots of time, but I wouldn't be without them for anything. And of course they will both grow up as Villa supporting movie fanatics so that's a bonus as well.

I'm sure a few of you will have seen the excellent movie 'Being John Malkovich' right?

O.k. Does anyone want to tell me how that movie was pitched? Not the easiest sell in the world I wouldn't imagine. I think it probably went like this...

Movie Pitches that were hard work.

Number 1: Being John Malkovich

Pitch committee: Ok, off you go.

Writer: Well, you know the actor John Malkovich?

Pitch committee member number 1: Yeah, sure he’s fantastic. I loved him in that movie about the Jewel thief.

Writer: Right ok, well there’s this puppeteer…

Pitch committee member number 2: Played by Malkovich! I like it! And he’s mad and deranged and bald right?

Writer: No, no the puppeteer is played by Jon Cusack.

Pitch committee member number 3: OK, the dead brother in Stand by Me. I like him.

Pitch committee member number 2: Wasn’t he in that movie where Tim Robbins was a terrorist?

Writer: No, that was Joan Cusack. You know, his sister.

Pitch committee member number 2: You sure?

Writer: Well, she was married to Tim Robbins so I guess so.

Pitch committee member number 1: Could have been make-up. You know, like that movie with Blade, Zod and that kid who spoke in reverse and forgot shit about stuff.

Pitch committee member number 2: Yeah, I like that one. He drew stuff on himself and walked around with Polaroids.

Pitch committee member number 3: Polaroids?

Pitch committee member number 2: Yeah, you know it’s cheaper.

Writer: Ok anyway, the puppeteer goes to work for a really odd company and he ends up finding a portal that leads inside John Malkovich.

Pitch committee member number 3: Wow, like a back door into his conservatory right? Or like an alleyway that he’d closed off with a old bike and it leads onto his tennis court.

Writer: Erm, no. This portal goes inside John Malkovich and the puppeteer ends up speaking and acting for John Malkovich.

Pitch committee member number 1,2 and 3: ~ Silence ~

Writer: Oh, and he has this really plain looking wife who loves Malkovich when the woman who her husband fantasises about is in possession of Malkovich’s body.

Pitch committee member number 1,2 and 3: ~ Silence ~

Writer: We can get Cameron Diaz to play the wife.

Pitch committee member number 1: You said she was plain (to everyone else on committee) He said she was plain!

Writer: Well, she can be made up plain. You know like Kidman in The Hours.

Pitch committee member number 2: You want to put that nose on Diaz?

Writer: No! we can just ‘dress her down’ a little.

Pitch committee member number 3: Have you even seen Charlies Angels?

Writer: *Sigh*

Pitch committee member number 1: Is that it?

Writer: Look, it will bomb at the cinema. Only a few people will go to see it, but by pure word-of-mouth and recommendation it will become a cult classic and everyone will buy it on DVD just to see how weird it is.

Pitch committee member number 2: I like it.

Pitch committee member number 1: Yeah, sounds good.

Pitch committee member number 3: Yep.

Writer: Oh, and we can get Charlie Sheen as well. He’s really good friends with Malkovich and he can play himself.

Pitch committee member number 1,2 and 3: NEXT!!!

Bit of music stuff. Listen to the new Bloc Party CD 'Silent Alarm', top stuff. I listened to it after a few regulars on Villa Talk (www.villatalk.com) recommended it and they were right. While were on the subject of VT (I post there as Designer1 unsurprisingly) here's a couple of good blogs to read...

From Matt Kane, a serious insight into student life...

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mjkane

From The Rev (aka Nayson), a top music opinion site, this guy knows his stuff...
http://www.nayson.blogspot.com

From Rantin Rob, a Villa/Lesbian crossover site with fabulous amounts of four letter fun and filth...NOT for minors...
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=rantinrob

Some more Villa rantins from D The Villain...
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=dthevillan

A Classic Reviewed

2005-02-15T10:43:00.000-08:00

When I was seven I had a scrapbook. It was one of many I was to use over the next few years to put in favourite bits and pieces from the era. In this particular scrapbook, alongside the Panini footy stickers and pictures of Princess Leih was a picture I had drawn of a shark biting a man in half. Gruesome stuff for a seven year old (my mom says that I only ever needed the black and red felt tip pen from those huge packs I used to get at Christmas) but what I always remember was the text I’d written to accompany this vision of fatality. It read ‘Jaws is ace, he bits men I want to wach it’. Maybe even then I knew it was going to be special.

Few movies have had the impact on Cinema History that Jaws has. Spielberg was a relative unknown before directing, and even though he wasn’t the original choice, he managed to make in many peoples eyes (mine included) one of the greatest movies of all time.

The cast is superb, Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss have never been better as Brody and Hooper respectively. The character of Quint was seemingly made in heaven for Robert Shaw (whose casting incidently Spielberg was unsure of due to his penchant to overact) and the overall pace, energy, story and vibe of the movie is spot on. Spielberg love of everything Hitchcockian comes to the forefront on many occasions, the death of the Kintner boy is handled especially well, with some great camera zooms to emphasise the emotions of Brody. Again you have to wonder how it would have turned out without Spielberg at the helm. People say the shark looks rubber and yes it does but, do you know for how long? A couple of seconds and a couple of shots. Not bad out of 124 minutes really is it?

The premise of the movie not being too unrealistic also helps. Therefore a suspension of disbelief is needed less. The characters are all well thought out and realized, from Scheider’s unsure Brody to Hamilton’s thoroughly unlikeable Mayor. Personal favourite of mine being Richard Dreyfuss’s Hooper, instead of Peter Benchley’s arrogant, womanising version, Dreyfuss’s character is blessed with a subtle kind of kookiness that would be over written and ultimately spoilt in a lot of today’s movies.

John Williams soundtrack has become one of the most famous of all time, it has been lampooned on many occasions and everyone remembers the first time they heard it during the opening credits.

Favourite scene for me is the Indianapolis speech. Robert Shaw (allegedly drunk whilst shooting it) managed eerie realism and a sense of foreboding menace during this scene and it's culmination meant you understood exactly why Quint hated sharks so vehemently.

To sum up then, a masterclass in filmmaking often imitated, never repeated (except for around the Christmas break). Jaws drags you into it’s mouth, chews you with it’s mixture of great acting and excellent story and spits you out at the end credits feeling a lot better than Quint did.

Oh, and the sequels are all shit.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/

Flash is...

2005-02-11T11:25:00.000-08:00

a bastard sometimes. I love the program most of the time, but occasionally it acts like it doesn't understand what you want just because you've put a full stop or a semi-colon in the wrong place. I'm just bitter because although MX has better functionality, v5 is still more user-friendly.

Anyway, some great flash work and a great blast from the past here...http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/

I still remember the first day I had my C64.

That whopping 30 odd k of memory made some serious games. No quick-saves, no anti-aliased graphics, no WASD and nearly all the games were original. All we had was a QS2 some dodgy sprites and hours of entertainment guaranteed. The highlight for me was still the Bell and Braben space extravaganza Elite.

Still my favourite game of all time to this very day. The feeling of being able to do EXACTLY what you wanted to without following any pattern was incredible for it's time. Pity the two writers had such a fall out, as Elite 2005 on a nice high end PC would be worth a good week off sick. Docking though, was a bastard.

After all this geek stuff about computers, how about a gratuituous photo of Stacey Kiebler to finish things off...

Have to add a late bit to this entry. After watching Seven again tonight I must say that it has by far the most memorable opening credits and closing credits for years (opening credits are awe-inspiringly designed and the closing credits run in reverse). Great movie, great direction from David Fincher and great acting by B.Pitt, M.Freeman, K.Spacey and the lovely Mrs. Coldplay.

What is it about...

2005-02-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

England friendly matches? I know it seems that the 'let's get on Ericksons back' Bandwaggon does seem to be gaining speed, but to be honest he doesn't do himself any favours does he?

Why play Michael Owen for 90 minutes? We know what he can do in an England shirt.

Why only give SWP 60 minutes? He needs a really good run out.

Why play Owen 'The Mushroom Boy' Hargreaves at all? If he's International class, I'm a SHA fan.

Why is Kieron 'Has there ever been a more appropriate second name?' Dyer even in the squad.

Why pay SGE One million squid since the Spain game when he has learnt zilch?

Too many Y's and not enough 'Have you ever seen such a great England display' for my liking.

Anyway, on to more cheery stuff. Like this site...http://tv.cream.org/

If you are over 25 you should find it hilarious. If you're under 25 you should still find it damn interesting as it gives a great insight into some of the stuff we used to watch before the multicoloured fatty toys and that bastard hoover came along.

It also has great pictures of old toys like this...

I nearly killed my mate with this...

I tortured this poor bastard using a table football game (stretched him on the handles until he actually burst open)...

Never had one of these. I don't think I liked the name...

Ok, let's round off with some offensively bad Photoshop work from the lads at Lethal. Extremely funny as always though... http://www.lethalwrestling.com/opinions//news_content.php?fileName=883

The first time around...

2005-02-09T06:14:00.000-08:00

Going to start this all off with a few links to some of my other bits and pieces.

Some of my music = http://music.download.com/heelfaction I have to get my arse into gear this year and finish the CD off. Figure I need another three tracks, but I need the time at the moment.

Some of my writing = http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Randall_Orton Basically a serialised 'Remix' of a book I wrote a couple of years ago. It's a good opportunity to update it and get some of the spelingg right.

Also working on a movie review site with a mate, which should be up sometime in the next couple of months. I'm going to post a couple of the reviews for it here before they go out of date.

Next up is a priceless piece of New Jack entertainment. One of the best 'shoot' interviews I've ever read. http://www.lethalwrestling.com/opinions//news_content.php?fileName=858

Check out this trailer for the new Rob Zombie movie... http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/the_devils_rejects/
Anyone whose ever heard any White Zombie or indeed solo Rob Zombie will instantly feel at home with this trailer. Looks like a great follow-on to the criminally underrated House of a 1,000 Corpses.

Anyway, the best way to sign off is as always with a cool movie character.
So here's Kakihara...